This is a Public Service Announcement for anyone who has politely nodded and said “Yeah, of course I did, babe” to someone they love, or someone they swiped right on. It’s for anyone who has driven home thinking “Well, at least they’re nice”. For anyone who has gone into the bathroom afterwards and just done it themselves. We’re begging you. Please, please, please stop faking your orgasms.
1. Orgasms are really fun for all involved.
Don’t deny you or your partner the experience of you really having one. We know your acting skills are Oscar-worthy, but save your dramatic flair for the roleplay, not the fake orgasm.
2. Enjoy the journey, not the destination.
We’re all about pleasure based sex. If your only focus during sex is an orgasm, then you’re going to miss out on half the fun! Sex doesn’t need to be goal orientated. If you’re too worried about having an orgasm, you risk creating a mental block for yourself. This not only minimises any chance of you actually hitting that big O, but also takes you out of the moment in general.
3. Honesty is key.
Whether it’s someone you’ve been with for 8 years, or a very successful first date, you should be able to communicate honestly about what’s going down (or more to the point, not going down) in bed. Putting barriers up to open communication when you’re being intimate can make it harder to communicate honestly when everyone is fully clothed.
4. They deserve to know.
Instilling fake confidence doesn’t benefit you, them, or any future partners in the long run. If whoever you’re sleeping with keeps trying something that isn’t working for you, do all those who come after you a favour and explain that actually, whilst you appreciate the effort, that whole ice cube thing really isn’t doing it for you.
So, now that you know you aren’t going to be faking orgasms anymore (yay!) the question is: how do you fix it?
1. Ease into it.
If you aren’t comfortable being direct about the issue just yet (we get it, no rush babe), start adjusting your responses. Slowly simmer down your reactions to things they think work if they don’t. It won’t come as such a shock when you bring it up.
2. Tell the truth.
Orgasms are a team effort, so don’t pull the “it’s not you, it’s me” card. Don’t make excuses or tell half-truths, just say what you need to say.
3. Offer a solution.
It can be super awkward if you’ve been faking it for a while, so try and sandwich it between two good things. “You look so good with that haircut, I wanna get all up on you right now. But I haven’t actually been orgasming lately, so maybe we can pair that new haircut with some new positions and see what happens.”
4. Introduce toys.
Bring your favourite toy into bed with you. (We love MAJESTY 2 for partner play!) Toys can take a lot of pressure off if the reason you’ve been faking it is you feel like you’re taking too long to hit your O. They can also help you reconnect physically, and rediscover what the other person likes.
5. Put on a show.
No one knows what you like more than you, so show them what works. We bet they’ll enjoy the demonstration, you’ll enjoy showing them, and it’ll lead to better sex together.
So go forth! Speak your truth and reap the many, many benefits! Don’t fake it til you make it, or you’re never going to make it.
Closing the orgasm gap is something worth celebrating! Grab your invite to a party for one and SHOP THE VUSH RANGE now!