The Star of the Show
Let's talk about the superstar of the bedroom – foreplay! Yep, it's not just a prelude; for many of us, it's the main event. You know, there's this misconception that sex equals penetration. But hold up, research shows that a whopping 80% of vulva owners need some good ol' clitoral stimulation to reach the big O. So, why not shift our focus from the destination to the journey and make every moment count?
Setting the scene
Now, let's warm up those engines, shall we? Getting all hot and bothered isn't just good for the soul; it's a physical party too. When we're in the mood, blood rushes down there, making everything extra sensitive. But hey, don't limit yourself to the obvious bits! Our bodies are chock-full of pleasure zones waiting to be explored. So, let's take a playful tour!
Erogenous zone
Erogenous zones, ever heard of them? They're like treasure troves of pleasure scattered across our bodies. And guess what? The list is never-ending! But don't sweat it; we've got the CliffsNotes version for you. Pleasure mapping describes the process of finding out what feels good for us, where our pleasure zones are. It encourages us to have an open mind as we move around the body and try to feel for pleasure. We start this in a non-sexual way, orgasm is not the goal. Notice the sensations and be curious - what does the elbow feel like? Is there pleasure in being touched on the ankles, feet or behind the knees? Go slow and explore with intention. Start slow, be curious, and, most importantly, have fun! And hey, why not bring a partner along for the ride?
Partnered Play
Speaking of partners, let's talk foreplay playbook. From ears to toes, there's a whole playground waiting to be explored. Foreplay is all about doing whatever feels best for you, like we said, there are endless ideas to play with. The most common non-genital areas to explore are the ears, neck, breasts/chest, stomach, fingers, upper inner thigh, lower back, behind the knees and the feet. Kissing, biting, sucking and licking these areas can build the tension and get your partner aroused. It’s important to ask where and how - some zones may be off limits and some techniques, like biting may also be a turn off. Asking our partners ‘what do you want’ can be a bit too open ended sometimes so we think it’s best to give options: ‘do you want me to lick your inner thighs or nibble your ear?’. It’s all learning and the more we try and fail, the closer we get to tailoring the most ideal experience for our partners.
Toys
Toys also add another layer when it comes to foreplay, you can try different settings and intensities in each spot. You can use the toy to massage deeply or to hover above the skin as you lightly tease your partner. This works so well with the nipples as well as the softer skin of our bodies such as inner thighs and inner upper arm.
Massage
Massage is a great foreplay technique because it can relax our partners and allow them to get into the correct headspace for pleasure. It creates an easier transition from everyday rushed life into your sexy time. Blindfolds can also help elevate a massage or any foreplay for that matter! Depriving one sense means the other senses kick into overdrive and the body can be extra sensitive to the touch you’re giving them.
Foreplay outside of the bedroom
Foreplay is not restricted to the bedroom and non-sexual foreplay helps us maintain the emotional connection with our partners. A sexy voicemail or spicy pics throughout the day is a sure way to get someone thinking about the sex you’re going to have later. Build up the tension throughout the day with words, eye contact and even laughter.
Mutual masturbation
Now, let's talk about a little something called mutual masturbation - the most underrated form of foreplay. This is when we engage in self pleasure in front of our partner, as they touch themselves as well - Trust us, it's a game-changer. Not only do you get to indulge in some self-love, but you also get a front-row seat to your partner's pleasure. The no-touching rule can create a whole new level of anticipation. Talk about a win-win!
Anticipation
And last but not least, let's talk anticipation. Good things come to those who wait! By savoring every moment, we can turn up the heat and reach new heights of pleasure. If we can focus more on the journey, the excitement, the anticipation, and the build up it allows for an even more intense climax.
So, remember, folks – foreplay is all about the play. Don’t rush to penetration, maybe even ban it every now and then? Take your time, explore, and above all, enjoy the ride!